Blog Entry: June 15th, 2026

I am not a summer person. I can't really explain it but something about this seemingly endless gap of days where I should be "having the best time" and having zero structure. I blame this perception of summer on school and the media.

Now where to begin... let me just rattle everything off. I had a job at the beginning of June but then had to quit to try to pursue taking a chemistry class. I took that class for three weeks but then they denied me because someone didn't see it before the census date! There was literally a spare week for them to view my petition ORZ I went paddleboarding and the Golden Gate for funsies. My mom had surgery, had terrible emphysema pain afterward so I essentially spent 32 hours awake with her in the hospital before some pain meds finally worked. Fear is still stopping me from moving in my own life. I have been doing a volunteer thing with a local childrens hospital for specially adapted bike. I just finished a 3 day job shadow opportunity at a major hospital in my area. I am going to an out of state wedding and don't have a dress ready.

I keep telling myself action relieves anxiety but then I bail on myself. I am okay with some stuff but not okay with a lot of other things. A lot of my strategies to manage my life have not been very effective lately. I feel marginally better today, like I can take on more of the world. Probably because I woke up early, did volunteer work and went for a swim. Still feel tired but nothing an energy can't fix.

I don't really want to go into the real world things I need to do currently but I feel like I am just in this creative block right now. I don't know how to get those creative juices flowing. I *need* (not need but like really desire) to finish a JangObi fic for the JangObi week in August. I also want to write a clones playing soccer fic before the FIFA finale as wella sanother clone one-shot that's been percolating. I tried using this notebook layout I found for blogging (I'm kinda over making new pages for a new entry) but it crashed three times. Still want to change my site theme but other things are higher in priority. I am a tad bit tempted to do like a media "check out" like some other people I've seen have - primarily altalenae.

My July bingo down below and so far, it's looking like I will only get one of them done considering I'm leaving for a wedding on Friday :P