Blog Entry: September 15th, 2025

Well, it's been a while since I did a blog post. Like always, this is a procrastination from something I'm supposed to be doing (doing a late lab and homework). Haha, maybe one day I'll get rid of my bad habits.

Idk, I kind of tend to go into a depression over the summer. I don't really know why. Maybe, I just have depression and I notice it more when I have less things to do? It's a consistent thing though. I don't really want to go to deep into it here, just know that I lose all energy to live life in the hot, hot summer months. I did do some fun things! I went to Toronoto and Niagara Falls in Canada, visited Yosemite with some friends, got a job, did 3 summer classes and went to a very stressful weekend long beach trip with my extended family.

I guess I just don't know where to begin, how to tackle it all. I am once again paralyzed with uncertainty. A lot of the times in interactions with my teachers and peers, I feel like I'm being laughed at. It's not anything they're saying or doing, but something inside of me is telling me that I'm being percieved as that one weird kid again.

But mostly, I just feel tired. I feel tired of school, of work, of just. Everything. I just want to turn into a bird and fly far away. I'm taking a full 12 units at my university and working part time there. I'm also taking a night class which means I return home at 10 pm twice a week. I wish I had the ability to be focused more, regulate my emotions, be able to take breaks, be able to actually lock in. I feel tired.

I don't want to feel tired anymore.

The piece above is "From Bluebell Hill" by Rosa Brett, taken from the Birmingham Museum Trust on Unsplash.